Self Taught Learner
by Fiallah
Summary: Weird how people are more open to admit their problems when their life is on the line, revealing inner demons that people they cared about where totally oblivious too. Maybe it can bring to friends together who share the same hellish experience. Orlando x Vincent
1. Chapter 1

Fanfic anon, thank you for the idea.

* * *

Vincent made sure he talked to every sheep on the landing, when he first did it he was doing it to see if anyone had a clue of what was going on, but when some turned to all, they began saying that because of him they made it far and that he brought sort of morality that kept them going. Vincent took joy and encouraging them, even if he didn't know their names. At first it was completely random who he talked to first then last, but two sheep; Vincent talked to them last. The sheep with the red hat and the smoking sheep, he felt dread when he talked to them yet he felt a familiar sense of companionship akin to the bonds held by childhood friends, and for some reason it bothered him deeply that they were there.

Vincent didn't know why, but he made sure to choose his words carefully when he talked to them, it was enough that them them being there was enough to give him a sick feeling in his gut but he would be devastated if one of them died. Vincent had just got done discussing with the group that huddled together and discussed techniques, bidding farewell to the small group he stood up and analyzed the pier, looking for the sheep with red hat, when he made it the safe floor he asked where the smoking sheep was, thankfully the group told him that he had left by the time he had got there, the news was far better than telling him that they didn't see him at all. Vincent scanned the platform and it didn't take long before he spotted the hat that stuck out like a sore thumb by the edge of the pier, he appeared to be sitting alone, staring off into oblivion.

He smiled nervously and quickly ran towards the sheep. When he tapped on his should the man swung his fist back with a gasp, making Vincent step back as he clearly surprised him. When the sheep with red hat saw it was Vincent, he chuckled, "Oh, it's you, jeez you shouldn't surprise me like that." He seemed winded, like he was struggling to speak. "My heart is still racing, any more excitement and I'm bound to have a heart attack."

Vincent smiled at the ill timed joke, and he sat on his knees next to the sheep. It unnerved Vincent how close to the edge they were, watching the sheep's legs dangle off the cliff while he made sure he feet where nowhere near the cliff. "I'm glad you're okay." Vincent said.

"Yeah, I'm glad you made it too, I..." The sheep trailed off, the sound of someone screaming as they feel down the tower filled his sudden silence. "Haha, I'm not sure what to say."

"That's okay, you're tired."

"To be honest I'm not sure how I made it this far, I'm out of breath so quickly." He exhaled loudly, and coughed a bit. "I'm not as spry as I used to be..."

"Well none of us are." Vincent chuckled, "Shit I'm not sure how I do this myself." He frowned as his attempts to lighten the mood went unsuccessful as the sheep continued his rant, the way he spoke was very rasped and he was clearly in no position to strain his voice, but continued anyway as he was in desperate need to spill his presumably bottle up problems to someone.

"Everything hurts, and I wake up aching so freaking badly. I... try to hide it the best can. I don't want them to worry about me."

"Who?" Vincent questioned.

"My friends, and... her." He went silent for about ten seconds before he began to go into more detail, "My friends have their own problems and... I can't show weakness around her. Not now..."

"Why not? You're talking about your ex, right?"

The sheep nodded solemnly.

"Why not?"

"I... don't know. But whatever it may be I'm only hurting not only her, but myself." He bit his lip, "Want to know the worst part? I know it's all my fault... and yet I keep doing this. That's why I'm here. I keep climbing those stupid fucking towers, just when I thought I was-" He stopped again but this time broke out into a violent coughing fit, each cough sounded painful, once he got over it enough to at least enough to form words he went on with his rant. "When I though I was getting the hang of it I'm just running around not sure what to do. I barley made it this time." He rushed the last sentence then groaned in pain, hunching over with his hand over his chest. "My chest..."

"Hey, hey." Vincent held the sheep, lifting him. The sheep looked his right in the eye, the red sheep eyes creeped Vincent out but continued to keep eye contact. "Don't talk to much, you sound horrible." The sheep took his advice and let himself catch his breath as Vincent stroked his back until he spoke up again.

"I feel horrible, I can't remember these dreams but I can feel it when I wake up. I could've just brushed this off as a really fucked up nightmare, but the pain, it's proof that I'm cursed." He lifted up his hooves and and looked down at them, "My hands, pulling the blocks causes my hands to bleed." Vincent looked at his hands and saw them bleeding from the finger tips that have been scrapped raw from the constant pushing and pulling of the blocks. "I can feel it but I can't see it, I can hardly be a good programer if it hurts type. It hurts to move, my legs, back, everything... I'm hanging onto my job by a fucking thread, I can't take anymore days off." He sighed, "Does that happen to you?"

"Uh... I just pissed the bed."

"Phft." The sheep doubled over and began to laugh, "Jesus christ man."

"Too much information?" Vincent blushed as he pulled on his left ear.

"Way too much. If only I was that lucky." He chuckled a bit more before he sighed, "Well, at least I can have a few more laughs before I die."

"Hey don't say stuff like that, after this floor I'm pretty sure the night'll be over." Vincent assured him.

"Yeah... that, really doesn't matter to me anymore I... I don't think I can make it tonight."

"Y-you mean you're gonna stop here to rest?" He asked hopefully. The sheep slowly nodded.

"No man, I'm not gonna make it. I don't want to make it. I'm..." He turned back towards the abyss, his next statement making Vincent's heart drop like a brick. "Next tower, I'm... I'm just gonna fucking jump."

"What?!" Vincent exclaimed.

"What's the point in waiting for the inevitable? I could just do it here but..."

"No, just... why are you giving up? We're so close to the top, man." Vincent reasoned, desperate to convince the sheep otherwise.

The sheep went silent, thinking about why wanted to do this. For a moment Vincent thought he had stumped him and his reasoning behind it wasn't worth the jump, but his hope went down the drain as the sheep spoke up again. "Before this I never really thought of dying, but now it's gotten me to think; what would I gain from being alive?"

"What? Come on don't say that."

"You think I don't know how close I am? I know I'm close, and when I saw that I was so fucking happy. But it also got me thinking; what do I really get from being alive? I really haven't done much with my life. I'm just one big waste of space if you think about it."

"Dude, don't think like that, you have to have something to live for, everyone does." Vincent insisted.

The sheep simply scoffed at his claim, "Bullshit, my life ain't worth shit, I'm just some average schmuck who's done nothing for himself or for anyone who decided to waste their time with him. With the way my life is going I'm probably just gonna blow my brains out anyway."

"H-hey." Vincent tried to figure out what to say as quickly as he could, but the sheep went on without giving him time to give him any advice or to try to convince him out of jumping.

"To tell the truth I've wanted to kill myself for a while but I... I just couldn't do it for some reason. I'm certain I'm not worth anything and yet..." He looked up, blinking away a stray tear, "And yet I felt like something would happen, something that would convince me that I have a purpose. But..."

"But..."

The sheep stopped his monologue and tried to think of what else to say, Vincent would've interjected but he felt it would be best for the sheep to let out every last word that could describe his inner turmoil. Was it the best course of action, Vincent didn't know, he's not a professional therapist by any means but listening was all he could really do. "it just never happened, maybe these dreams are a sign it never will happen either. I think I've accepted that, I've done more bad than good in my opinion. And if not I just haven't done anything for thirty two years. I don't know what's worse..."

Vincent saw an opportunity to try to encourage him, "Well you have to have made an impact on someones life, right?"

"That doesn't matter, I hurt someone close to me..."

"Like who?"

"My ex, she was..." The sheep was hesitant on answering. "A great woman, and I left her when we both needed each other the most. That guy said the people who are here is because they hurt someone they loved. I hurt the girl I loved and she didn't do nothing wrong. It was me who messed up, I told you about my business, right? When it failed she stuck by me and all I did was do everything I could to push her away."

"Wha... really?"

"Even now, she still wants me back and I keep pushing her away when all I want to do is to be with her again but I'm to much of a goddamn coward..." Vincent could see he jaw trembling and the red sheep eyes start to shine with tears. "Honestly part of me still thinks it's for the best, I barely have enough money to makes ends meet, I could never make her happy."

Something about what he said made no sense, at least to Vincent, "Well It sounded like she didn't care about that."

"About what?" The sheep hissed through gritted teeth. Maybe Vincent wasn't clear enough.

"About your money, she loved you despite that. She's still pinning for you-"

"You think I don't know that?!" The sheep sprung up, his face inches from Vincent face. "I know that! And I left her anyway!" Tears were sliding down his face, his breath was shaking. "I was so selfish, I felt like I failed her when she didn't care. She wanted to be with me..."

"It's still all my fault..." The sheep grasped the sides of his head, "It's my fault that I'm still alone. My life is nothing but shit." He sniffed, going silent before letting out a choked sob, "It's... why I'm here" He looked towards the confessional, more so towards the half with the shadow of the young man who was presumably behind all of this. "That guy behind the glass, he told me that someone had sent us here to die, that I should just give up now. I guess he was right." He looked back down towards his knee's, "I really am gonna die."

"Don't say that."

"No! It's okay." The sheep smiled, turning towards Vincent and grasping him by the shoulders and began to shake him as he spoke. "Everything will be better if I die. I won't have to worry about all of the crap that's been weighing me down the past years, and maybe she'll finally move on! She's such a good person, she deserves better than to waste her time with trash like me." He sighed wistfully at the thought, "And my friends, I keep mooching money off of them, so they won't have to worry. See, if I die everybody wins!" He exclaimed with a twisted smile, like he was happy with his decision. "So I'm gonna do it!"

Vincent couldn't take much more after that. "No you're not."

"Wha?"

"What that guy is telling you is bullshit. Someone made it out of here and who ever that guy sure as fuck won't be the last." Vincent wasn't sure if what he was saying was true, if someone had made it through these near impossible trials, but if lying would encourage him then he saw no harm in it. The sheep looked at him with a blank stare, contemplating what he had just said and nodded his head as Vincent continued on with his encouraging banter. "He's been telling you to give up since you got here, right?" The sheep nodded, "Then why do it now? You think you and you're friends would be better off with you dead is nothing but a bunch of selfish bullshit. You have a chance to fix what you've messed up, and you're ex is giving you another chance. That's something my girlfriend wouldn't do if she found out what I was doing behind her back."

"... But I didn't cheat."

"What?"

"Yeah, it has to be."

"What?" The sheep lifted himself up.

He looked away for a moment, hesitating, "I'm probably gonna sound crazy, but I'm sure I know you." He looked back at Vincent, "You're Vincent, right?"

Vincent felt his heart drop at his name, so much he didn't respond right away, causing the other sheep to question his own claim.

"It has to be you, right Vincent?" The sheep looked a bit frantic, frightened that he might've gotten hin confused for another person. Vincent quickly shook his head, trying to think of what to say.

"No, I am, wait..."

"You are Vincent!" The sheep smiled, overwhelmed with joy, "I knew it! Dude, it's me, Orlando, can't you recognize me?"

"Orlando?" Vincent looked back towards his hat and suddenly he felt so stupid not knowing it's him. However Vincent couldn't say or think of another word when Orlando wrapped him in a bear hug. He was shaking violently, and he buried his head into Vincent's shoulder, not long after Vincent felt something wet begin to fall onto his shoulder and leak down his back Orlando... coughing? Vincent thought he was having another coughing fit until the supposed coughs turned to loud sobbing.

"Holy fuck man I've never been so goddamn happy to see you." Orlando sobbed, burying his head into his shoulder the best he could as the tears flowed freely onto his shoulder. Vincent gasped, looking at his friend as he continued to let out all of his bottled up emotions. He was shaking, breathing deeply and holding him close to his soft wool, quickly he found himself getting comfortable being held up against the warm fluff. It only occurred to Vincent in a very small part of his mind that from Orlando's point of view he was hugging a sheep with his clothing, but that really didn't matter right now when he just needed someone to listen to him.

"I can't believe you thought like that. What made you think I'd be happy to see you dead?"

"I... I don't know. Oh god I'm sorry Vincent."

"Orlando, why don't you ever talk to me about this?"

He sniffled, "Because I'm an idiot, you had your own problems and I thought mine weren't that important."

Vincent felt a sick feeling in his stomach hearing that, "You're right, you are an idiot. I may have my own shit to deal with but I would've listened, that's what friends do, they listen to each others problems, no matter how stupid you might think they are."

Orlando went silent for a few seconds, "I guess you're right. I'm so sorry Vincent. I should've known better, you would've fucking dragged me back from the dead and killed me yourself if I did something like that, right?"

"Fuck right I would you dumbass." Vincent whispered, nevertheless Orlando smiled, happy with being in such a comforting position until Vincent remembered- "Heh... it's a shame we'll forget about this when we wake up." Orlando's expression fell when he was reminded of that crucial fact, when Vincent noticed this he tried cheering him up again, "But we'll remember talking about it tomorrow night!"

Orlando was silent, he even stopped shaking until he spoke up again, "Yeah... tomorrow night." Orlando unwrapped himself from Vincent.

"You're... you're not gonna jump, right?"

"No, but who said I would make it anyway? That asshole behind the booth." He chuckled, "He really hates me, he even said I 'annoyed' him or something like that."

Vincent found himself smiling as well at the comment, "Really, well anyone would be annoyed if they had to put up with you."

"Dick." Orlando playfully punched him in the shoulder, "Yeah, but I think he makes it harder for me so... I'm kind of fucked."

"Well, if you want I can tell you a few techniques."

Orlando arched a brow as if to think about it and shrugged, "Well I guess I have no choice, if it makes these towers easier to climb I'll listen."

Vincent nodded and sat back down with Orlando and began to explain the details of his own techniques plus some new ones he learned from the group that gathered to talk about them, Orlando seemed to be listening, nodding as Vincent went over them with him. "Jeez, they the other sheep weren't kidding when they talked about you. You really do know your way around these blocks." Orlando sat up, "Anyway, I think I'm ready. I just want to get to the next floor, she's waiting for me."

"Your ex?"

"Yeah... she's all torn up and crying, and has these really long finger nails." He looked at his hooves as he mentioned her nails, "She... keeps asking me to come back, I... really wish I could but..."

"Just worry about that when this is over. Okay?"

"You're right, I bet Katherine's waiting for you."

Vincent shrugged his shoulder as he looked up thoughtfully, "Could be Katherine, could be some dead baby, it varies depending on what hits me that day."

"Dead babies?" Orlando asked, dumbfounded while possibly amused or disturbed at Vincent's confession, "Is that a normal thing for you?"

"No!" Vincent retorted, but then laughed again, "It's just the whole pregnancy thing, but you sound like you have way more problems then me. Relationships are one thing but your job?"

Orlando looked at him with an arched brow before he remember that he had told him about his apparent employment issues, "Yeah, my job, I'm fucking up pretty badly."

"Why?"

Orlando shrugged his shoulders, "A lot of reasons."

"Appart from you being lazy as hell."

Orlando grinned bashfully at the all too true comment, "Yeah, but..." He sighed, looking down at his knees again, "I've been so fucking depressed lately, I told you why I've been feeling so shitty. These dreams aren't helping either, as if the thought of dying because of how much of a dumbass I am helps."

"Wha- depression?"

"Yeah, I haven't told you about that?"

"Well, you have been drinking a lot more." Vincent admitted.

"I'm surprised you noticed that when you're doing the same."

"I... I guess you are right." Vincent shrugged his shoulder, "Hell I wasn't even purposely paying attention, I notice these things, Orlando, subconsciously I notice when you guys are doing things differently. I just never say anything about them." He then shook his head, snapping himself back to reality, "Why don't you just get going? We can talk about this tomorrow night. Oh, and don't get killed, okay?"

"Alright." Orlando nodded, seeming way more energized than before, "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"It's a promise." Vincent nodded and waved his friend off as he went towards the confessional, his heart pounding as he watched his friend disappear behind the curtain and watched the booth for a minute or so until it finally launched into the air, taking Orlando to the next set of trials.

_'He really hates me' 'I think he makes it harder for me' _

_'How much harder can these damn puzzles get?'_ Vincent thought, his heart beating even faster as his head began to burn with worry. _'He may as well make them impossible if...' _Vincent shook his head, a sick feeling creeping into his gut as he looked up towards the sky. Hoping the sheep that just fell wasn't his old friend who had already surcum to the dreams, but then he quickly shook his head again, no, he won't think like that. He had to have a clear mind for this, he'll see tomorrow if his friend had made it.

Vincent stood up and went to the confessional himself, seeing how he was close to being the only one left on this pier. He parted the curtain and sat down on the wooden bench, the creaking noise alerting the mystery man that hid behind the wall. "Ah it's about time you showed up." The voice began his customized greeting, "You were taking longer than usual today, but I guess what matters is that you made it."

"Yeah, yeah, shut the hell up and ask your question." Vincent growled, tapping his finger against his thigh, he really wasn't in the mood for this guy's crap today.

"And rude as well, but I suppose you're right."

A deep, disembodied voice boomed inside the small space Vincent resided in.

_This is the eleventh question. Would you choose your best friend over your lover?_

Two ropes dropped from the top of the confessional and hung from both sides of Vincent. He thought this question over unlike some of the other, more ridiculous ones, as he felt this one actually had some meaning and a bigger impact on whatever might happen towards the end. He looked between the two braided ropes, gulping as his heart pounded before he closed his eyes and hesitantly pulled down the rope on the left. When he let go both ropes snapped back into the ceiling and the mystery man eerily chuckling.

"I see, that's your answer. I'm not surprised you think that way after I saw you with your friend."

Vincent gasped, eyes wide at the grated vent, "You saw?"

"Of course I saw, you two seem really close if he was to do something like that in front of all of the other sheep, right?"

"Oh shut up, he needed it." Vincent anxiously squeezed the pillow he held in his arms, this conversation making him really uncomfortable.

The mystery man scoffed, "'Needed it', huh?" He chuckled mockingly, as if he thought what he said was ridiculous. "So you two are friends, I shouldn't be surprised. Those who don't mind other degenerates are usually the ones who associate with them, as well."

"Hey, don't call us that!" Vincent protested, but he seemed to ignore him.

"Oh but he's one of the worst, letting his pride get in the way of what's right. Unlike him, you seem to have a better idea of right and wrong. Isn't that right?" Vincent hoped that was a rhetorical question. Thankfully the voice sighed as it continued on, "Oh it's just pitiful, but we shouldn't waste time talking about him, we should be moving on. The night's almost over." His last statement was a lot less enthusiastic, probably because he knew Vincent wasn't so prone to succumbing to the dreams now. He felt a major boost of confidence knowing that little fact, and he grinned as he felt a rumble beneath him and the booth soon after launching to the next set of trails.


	2. Chapter 2

Vincent was getting frustrated, he could've sworn that would be the last floor for tonight, the little devil in the booth even said the night was almost over. But it was just a regular tower of blocks and another landing tier. That was the second tower tonight, where the nights getting longer too? Time seemed to hold no meaning here, he either made it through all the stages tonight or die if he ever wanted to see the light of say again. Vincent sighed, he just wants to get this over with, he just wanted to wake up.

He hoisted himself up the last step to the landing, glad to see everyone else was there; the small group who discussed techniques, but more importantly Orlando was there, sitting on the floor with his back pressed against the pews with his eyes closed, probably resting. Then there was the smoking sheep who sat alone. Why did he get to smoke? Vincent would kill for a cigarette right about now, but first things first he had to go over to the group of sheep to talk about techniques and whatever thoughts they have on what's going on. It was tedious but Vincent wasn't one to get cocky, especially when his life was on the line.

This time it was just about how to navigate the tower, stuff Vincent already figured out, but he wasn't gonna burst their bubble saying that. On the upside they covered things quickly and Vincent was on his way over towards Orlando, but not to far from where he was sitting Vincent saw the smoking sheep. He stopped in his tracks; Orlando was still asleep (asleep while he's already asleep) and he wanted to talk to the smoking sheep for a while now. His decision made, Vincent walked over to the smoking sheep and tapped on his back.

The smoking sheep calmly looked behind him, and there was a slightly hint of joy in his eyes when he saw who it was, "Oh it's you, glad to see you're alright."

"Yeah, I missed you on the last floor." Vincent took a seat and sat next to him with his legs crossed, "Um, you don't happen to have another smoke on you?" Vincent asked, not being able to help himself. The sheep reached into his wool and pulled out a pack of cigarettes, and Vincent raised an eyebrow, but then realized that maybe he was reaching into the pockets of his pajama pants. All the sheep where wearing street clothing, but that couldn't be the case for the men who were actually here. It was a minor detail that puzzled Vincent, and when the sheep handed him the pack of cigarettes Vincent smiled thankfully and leaned in to slide one out of the box with his mouth. They were an obscure, more expensive brand that Vincent didn't buy, but he didn't care at the moment. The sheep was also kind enough to hold the lighter in front of him so he could light it.

"Heh, thanks." Vincent muttered before inhaling a long needed plume of smoke, savoring it longer than he would before blowing it out. "I would love a pack of my own, you have any idea why you get a pack?"

The sheep nodded, "Nope, and I'm not gonna question it. Maybe it's because I go to sleep with a pack in my sweat pants?" The sheep pondered.  
"Hmph, maybe I should sleep with a pack in my boxers, though I don't have pockets." Vincent sighed in disappointment, he would consider wearing sweat pants but his polka dotted boxers consisted of half of his wardrobe. Why polka dots?

He noticed the far off look on the sheep face, and then remembered why he was really there, apart from the cigarettes. "Hey, what did you say you were here for?"

The sheep sighed, "I don't know, that's what pisses me off. I said before, I don't cheat, party, or do anything really. I'm as boring as you could get. My friends aren't exactly the best boyfriends, one of them cheated, the other just sleeps around. And look at me, I have a girlfriend and I want to get married."

Vincent smiled, _'Sounds familiar' _"That is weird, you seem like a pretty decent boyfriend."

"Would you still say that if I told the girl I'm dating now that I don't want to marry her?" Before Vincent could answer the sheep continued on, "It's awful but I had to tell her. Truth is, I want to marry this one girl… but"

"But?"

"But she's with someone else."

Vincent remembered the sheep had said something like that earlier, but figured he could pry for more information on this girl. "You said he was your best friend right?"

"Yeah, and want to know the best part?" He smiled, though the words 'best part' were laced with sarcasm, "He's cheating on her."

"Really?"

"Yup, but in his defense he seems to regret it. I don't know if it was a one time thing or not but either way it eats at him, which I suppose is… good?" He sighed, "God I sound awful, but he cheated, and is me loving his girl just as bad as what he's doing?"  
"Well, did you ever try hitting on her?"

"God no," The sheep said in disgust. "I can't bring myself to do that. And at what cost? Her rejecting me, telling him and then loosing him? I couldn't live with that!" He exclaimed, "I…couldn't bear losing him."

"Sounds like you're really close friends."

The sheep chuckled, "Oh yeah, we go way back, it'd just make it even worse if I did that. Sure what he's doing is horrible but I still can't act on my feelings. Because of that I keep dating other girls to take my mind off her."  
"Wha, really?"

"Yeah, they're not even my type and yet I do that just so I can get her off my mind. I still can't, I feel like I date them if they look like her."

"What?" Vincent couldn't hide the disgust in his voice, and the sheep seemed to agree with it.

"I know, horrible right? They get so attached to me and yet I'm only dating them because they look like her. Long hair, glasses, dresses in black."_ 'That girl sounds a lot like Katherine.'_ "If they remind me of her I'm putty in their hands until I realize they will never be her…"

"Um…" Vincent spoke up, thinking he gained the sheep's trust enough for him to answer, "If you don't mind me asking, what's her name?"

"Her name? Why?"

"Just curious."

"…Katherine."

"Katherine?" Vincent felt his stomach sink and his head begin to burn, no he couldn't possibly mean his Katherine right? Katherine is a common name, right?

"Yeah, that's her name." He smiled wistfully, "She's a wonderful woman, so beautiful too. Smart, elegant, she's everything I could ask for. But she's dating this guy, Vincent." At the sound of his name he felt his whole body burn with an emotion he couldn't name. Anger? Betrayal? And why betrayal at all? He didn't know this sheep, at least he thinks he doesn't. "He cheated on her, every part of me thinks I'm better than him. That I could make Katherine happier. But I… can't hurt him, at this point I don't know what's worse. Her or Vincent hating me… I love them both so much."

His words stopped Vincent right on the verge of exploding, and it gave him time to think. _'Okay, this guy is obviously talking about me and Katherine. But I still don't know who this is… Think, Vincent."_ At that moment Vincent tried to piece together traits of this sheep that could match anyone he knew in the real world. Then he remembered the brand of cigarettes the sheep had, the only person he knew who bought that brand was Jonny.

'_Holy shit, Jonny?!'_ Vincent gave himself a mental slap at how obvious it was now,_ 'God damn I'm stupid. The hair, the voice, the jacket. Well… if I didn't notice Orlando with that eye sore of a hat then it would've taken me forever to figure out this is Jonny.' _And with so much new information he wasn't sure how to feel, and what he just said he was torn between anger and some other emotion that was brought on from the last thing he had said.

"How can I love Vincent when I thought I was better than him? I'm really worse than him, far worse. I don't even know if he's seeing that girl anymore but I still use it to make me think I'm better than him. That isn't love, that's sickening."

"Y-you love them both?"

He smiled, "So much, I couldn't tear them apart. I mean… as horrible as it sounds I wanted them to break up. He said that Katherine might've been cheating on him so I suggested that they break up. But I was lying to myself and Vincent, saying it was for the best but I knew it was for my selfish reasons."

"Uh…"

"And what would that say about me if I ask her out the next day? I couldn't wait a month or even a week. God I'm awful, no wonder why I was thrown into this hell."

"Well… what about him?"

"What about him? He's actually the monster I face every night. Him and Katherine are this two headed monster, they call me an asshole, traitor, a horrible person." Vincent was unnerved by the confession, but rightfully angry. "On both of their foreheads is two haves of a broken heart. Corny, but I got the point, I hurt both of them. If I haven't then I will at some point." He buried his face into his hands and sighed, "I hate myself, maybe if I remembered what happened in these dreams I would try to stop what I'm doing." He closed his eyes, "Vincent…" He muttered, "I'm so sorry Vincent."

"Sounds like you're afraid of hurting him more than Katherine."

"Oh I am, I feel like.…"

With the way the conversation was going, Vincent decided to humor himself a bit, "You love him?"

"Yeah, I love him."

Vincent felt his chest burn up again up hearing his words, his heart began to beat even faster. Sure Jonny said it before but there was two types of love and Vincent felt he was leaning more towards the romantic type. "Like how you love Katherine?" He stuttered.

"…" Jonny was silent as he scrunched his face together in thought, he really didn't specify what type of 'love' he was referring to. If his sheep head wasn't so dark he could've seen the blush on his face, but after waiting for him to contemplate his thoughts Jonny sighed, "Yeah, I really do, I think I'm in love with Vincent."

"R- really?" Vincent exclaimed while he tried to keep his excitement hidden. '_Wait, why am so excited anyway?'_

"I knew for the longest time I was bisexual or something like that, hell I'm not even into guys as much I used to be but there's something about him I can't help but love, ya know? We've been friends for so long so maybe this is expected? People falling in love with your best friends is so common, at least from what I've seen." He sighed "But I'm pretty sure he's straight. He was such a womanizer back in school." Back with that stupid story, it made Vincent want to scoff. "Some thought I was just waiting for the right girl and others thought I was gay. The right girl to me is Katherine but Vincent is just so…"

Vincent saw a great opportunity to milk a few compliments from Jonny, "Handsome?"

"Yeah." He smiled dreamily, "You should see him yourself, he has puffy hair, sort of like you, and pretty grey eyes." Vincent blushed at the confession, he never considered his eyes to be pretty, or handsome in general, and coming from a man like Jonny it just meant even more. While Vincent felt like he was aging like milk while Jonny still retained the appeal he held in high school.

"He's a great friend, too. He listens to all my problems, even the bullshit I spouted when I went through my scene phase in high school." Vincent grinned in remembrance of how he would dress and act when he was going through said phase. "Cheating aside, he's a great person, and a good friend." He frowned, "I guess that's all I could ask for, but I don't think that'll last."

Vincent was certain he was just muttering all these things to nothing, he didn't know the sheep he was talking to was him. But Vincent couldn't help himself from saying. "It's okay."

"What?"

_'__Where was I going with that?"_ "You're an asshole, you know that?"_ 'Why do I keep saying the wrong thing?'_

The sheep furrowed it's brows together, "Yeah I know that. These dreams couldn't have made it more obvious." He sighed, "But what do you mean 'it's okay?'. You think Vincent could ever forgive me for this?"

No point in hiding anymore, "I can't say I forgive you entirely."

Jonny's face went blank as he was trying to figure out what he meant, then when it came together he quietly muttered 'Oh fuck' before sitting back up. "Vincent?" He looked at him for a bit before gripping the sides of his head with a loud yell. "Fucking shit!"

"Hey, Jonny get a grip." Vincent reached out before Jonny slapped his hand away.

"Don't fucking touch me, what the hell man!?"

"Hey what's wrong?"

"Why didn't you fucking do anything you just kept listening to me talk about how much I love Katherine and…" He trailed off, panting slightly as he gripped the sides of his head in mortification. "Oh god…" He whimpered.

"Jonny… please calm down." Vincent wrapped an arm around his shoulder and held him close, making Jonny rest his head on his chest, his lips trembling as he muttered to himself. It took a minute or so with Vincent rubbing his arm in a slow pattern to sooth Jonny. Vincent could feel Jonny slowly relax in his arms, and after some silence Jonny exhaled and pulled himself away from Vincent and sat about a foot away from him with his back towards him.

"So, now you know. I suppose you're gonna beat the living fuck out of me now?"

"Maybe not right now, plus I can't beat one of my admirers."

"S-shut up." He muttered, "So…what do you think?"

"Hmm?"

"You don't mind that I love you?"

"Woah Jonny." He slowed him down, "Are you sure you actually love me?"

"Well, yeah. Why else would I think that?" Jonny rubbed his shoulder, "I can love two people at once right?"

"Your asking the wrong person." Vincent joked.

"True." Jonny smiled, "Still, you don't think it's weird?"  
"Who said that would bother me?" Vincent shrugged, "Jonny I really don't mind, I'm flattered actually."

Jonny was silent, but then his face scrunched up, and though he was a sheep the look of disgust was quite distinguishable as he stood up and quickly faced Vincent. The action so sudden and knocked Vincent back in his seat, making Jonny's stance much more frightening. "The hell, Vincent?"  
"W-what?!"

"You're not supposed to say that! You of all people should be turning me down!"  
"Why?"

Jonny looked absolutely dumbfounded, "W-why?! You're cheating for christ sake, shouldn't you-"

"Jonny just because you love me doesn't mean you'll act on it, just like how you feel about Katherine."

Jonny was silent again, looking as though he completely forgot that he brought up Katherine. "Oh fuck…" He muttered as he paced back and forth with his hands once again grasping the sides of his head, "Oh fuck me why does this have to happen?" he then stood still, silent before he gasped in realization, "Wait! You won't remember this! You won't remember any of this, right?"

"Uh… yeah." Vincent didn't want to think of that fact. "That doesn't matter right now," whatever help Vincent could give him has to subconsciously carry on into the real world. "Jonny, just… talk to me. There's no point in denying it, like you said we'll forget this all so just let it all out."  
Jonny squinted his eyes and shook his head, "You're right." He smiled wryly, "For an idiot you seem to know what's best." He sat back down, this time much closer to Vincent. He was at least half a foot from him now. "So… yeah. I'm in love with both you and Katherine… I don't know what else there is to say."

"Well I liked it when you were calling me handsome so you can keep doing that."

"Shut up."

Vincent smiled, "If I didn't look like a sheep to you…" He couldn't believe he was going to say what he was gonna say, "Would you kiss me?"

"I said quit it." Jonny couldn't hide the laughter in his voice. Even with the sheep head Vincent could see Jonny smiling bashfully with his cheeks tinged red. Picturing the real deal Vincent found it adorable. "Vincent, don't try cheating again when that's why your here."

"I was kidding anyway."

"No you weren't."

Vincent rolled his eyes, "Whatever. I'm not into sheep."

"You're one to talk, you are a sheep!"

Vincent found it even funnier because in Jonny's eyes he wasn't kidding. "So to everyone else, we'd be two sheep making out."

"Yeah, I guess so." Jonny had a few more laughs before his expression turned blank, "But Vincent… about Katherine."

Vincent felt the tension rise again, and he looked down at the ground, "Yeah… we can't just ignore that."

"I just want you to know I never tried hitting on her, I-"

"Don't worry, I believe you." Vincent had to cut him off.

He nodded his head, "I'm sorry. But could loving her really be the reason I'm here? I never tried hitting on any of you. The best guess I have is that I just don't want to marry my girlfriend."

Vincent lifted his head, "Oh yeah, you may as well tell me about your girl. Are you two still together?"

Jonny pursed his lips as he looked towards the dark expanse of the nightmare world, "Technically, yes. It's more like a friends with benefits type thing but…I really don't feel anything for her. When I really think about it I know nothing about her, I just started dating her because she looked like Katherine. But the more I'm around her the less she looks like her and more like a hollow shell of my own fantasies." Jonny nodded his head, "Basically, I'm a selfish prick. It makes me feel even worse when she insists we're perfect together, that we'll work out. Maybe she's exactly like me in a different way, shaped by our own expectations." Jonny paused, "I'm kinda surprised she didn't dump my ass when I said- right to her face- that I didn't want to marry her. Kind of pissed me off." A humored smile spreads across his face.

Vincent just stared with wide eyes at his friend. Just like that a while new side of Jonny came to full surface, "No wonder you're so quiet." _'You're such a piece of shit' _"You have all of that weighing on you."

"Come on, just say it like it is. I'm awful. I'd be better off dead. I hurt so many people because of my selfishness, even worse I tried to make you and Katherine split up." Jonny furrowed his brows and clenched his fists, "So if you push me off right now. I… can't think of a reason to be angry at you."

'_And he was right, I have every reason to be angry at him. But now you're making no sense.' _"Why would I push you?" Vincent wrapped his arm around Jonny, "There's a side like this to everyone. Not exactly like yours but… just as hard to accept."

Jonny nodded his head, "It's so weird how I thought I let that out to a complete stranger. But there's something about you Vincent." Vincent felt his heart thump when Jonny leaned on his shoulder, "You're just great to be around, you make me feel so calm, I can say anything to you. I guess that's why I love you."

"Me or Katherine?"

"Huh?"

"Me or Katherine, who do you love more?"

Jonny exhaled through his nose, and reached into his wool for his cigarettes. Shaking it to shift one out of the box, he grabbed it by the mouth and lit it. The scent that soon floated up and hit Vincent directly in the face made made his fingers twitch. Jonny dropped both the light and the cigarette pack to the ground, and after a puff of his cigarette he sighed again, having finally come up with an answer. "Normally I'd say Katherine, but… this reminded me of how much I relied on you for support. I guess the whole cheating thing made me forget that." Jonny went stiff, and stuttered a bit, "So… um. Can I say it?"

"Say what?"

"I-idiot. I love you."

Vincent felt heat race all over him, from his heart to his head. Jonny sucked hungrily at his cigarette, rapidly reducing all of it's content to ash. He honestly had no clue what to say, even if he expected it.

Jonny grabbed his cigarette between his fingers and flicked it off into the abyss. "Y-you don't have to say it back. I… just needed to get that off my chest. I love you Vincent, I really do. I just needed to say that, if I die…"

"You're not gonna die, Jonny." Vincent had to kill that thought right off the bat. "You have me to look forward to tomorrow."

"… You're right." Jonny wrapped his arms around Vincent pressed his face into his shoulder. Vincent's face may have been buried in wool but it was oddly comforting, and he wrapped his arms around Jonny, returning the hug whilst rocking him back and forth. "I love you, Vincent."

"Yeah." Vincent muttered softly, "I… love you too, Jonny." Should he have even said that? _'Maybe it'd be best if we forgot this…' _The last thing he needs is Jonny being dragged into this even more. _'no, we have to remember everything. Even this.' _Vincent looked at his sheep guised friend, even still the thought of his dark haired friend was easy to manage. He could see his face scrunched up in hurt, self hatred, anger. But seeking some solace within this moment. Sheep or not… _'I… don't want to forget this'_

Jonny soon separated from Vincent, looking him dead in the eyes. His eyes were oddly calming too look into now that the bright red was gone, they were just normal brown sheep eyes. As odd as it was, Vincent didn't want to say anything about it. Jonny looked down at the pack of cigarettes that were still on the floor. "You can have those." He stood up to head for the booth that'll launch him up to the next stage of trials. "I, have to get going. I… think it'll be easier facing you and Katherine now.". Jonny turned back and looked at Vincent with a sad smile. "Thank you, Vincent."

_'__Come on, Jonny. You know this dramatic shit ain't for me.' _Vincent simply winked it him, Jonny only rolled his eyes and turned for the booth. Vincent watched as he slid behind the curtain to meet with the mysterious voice.

Vincent looked at the cigarettes on the floor and blinked slowly before picking them up, turning the pack around and examining it. There was only two left in the box, but other than that he had no real way of storing them, they'd just slide out of his boxers _'And as much as I want to, I can't just store them in my hair.'_ Vincent chuckled at the thought and just held them in his hand for the time being, he could easily smoke the rest of them now.

Vincent made his way over the the pew where Orlando was, and before he took a seat he was shocked to see Orlando smiling deviously with his eyes closed. "'This made me realize how much I relied on you for support.'?" He quoted, " Funny seeing how Jonny was hiding so much from us, huh?"

Vincent felt the heat of embarrassment rise, "How-How much of that did you hear."

"I heard the sheep freak out on you, I was gonna go back to sleep but once I heard Jonny's name, I couldn't exactly rest easily. Ya know?" Orlando sat up in the pew, grabbing his hat he rested on the pillar of the pew and placed it back on his head. "I just about heard everything after that. But both you and Katherine, huh? Can't say I blame him."

"What?" Vincent snorted as he sat next to him, "You gonna say you love my girlfriend, too?"  
"Not her, you know Katherine ain't my type." Orlando scratched his chin. True seeing how Orlando tastes were more bold, "But you're a different story."

"So me then." Vincent sighed, now's a good time as ever to finish off that pack. "Good, everyone just loves me. That'd be flattering if everyone wanting my dick wasn't the reason I'm here." Vincent let his head fall, and he lit up the cigarette held loosely between his lips.

"Hey Vin, can I get one?"

"You don't smoke."

"Yeah, but there's no booze here so I'm settling for whatever."

_'__Well you're not wrong.' _Vincent handed Orlando the pack and the lighter. _'This whole place is just messing everything up. Maybe it's because we'll all forget this that they're telling me? Maybe it's because death is within arms reach?' _Those were both good possibilities. Erika had told him the worst way to go is being burdened with the fact you never accepted yourself; problems that could be easily solved if you have people who truly care about to help you along your journey. Everything will be okay. It was the only bit of Erika philosophical blather that made any sense. Being in danger is probably that little kick they need to spill in, both Jonny and Orlando kept their problems under wraps.

"It was pretty interesting what you and Jonny were talking about." Orlando began, "Jonny's a pretty weird guy deep down. But he's not wrong about you, though."

"I think he was giving me too much credit."

Silence, this prompt Vincent to look at his friend. His face shifting in thought. "Remember in high school, middle school, hell even elementary? You were the main guy to go too, both me and Jonny sort of looked up to you. Even when everything went to shit for you, you still helped us out with out problems."

"Mainly yours." Vincent muttered as it gradually came back to him.

"All those times I had no choice but to stay over at your place? How I'd stay for a week straight and you said nothing. It felt like we were already a couple." Orlando smiled nostalgically, "Even when Ai came along, I still felt that connection between us, even when we just drifted apart." Sadness tainted his smile, "When the divorce happened, I only thought of you, and how much… I needed you. How much I needed you then, I never wanted to let go."

Vincent blinked, looking at his friend in shock as he took a puff of his cigarette, _'I really did that much for them?' _

"I… doubt I did that much."  
"You did do that much!" Orlando faced him, "You did so much for us, for me. I'm here right now because of you, not just because you talked me out of jumping, but so much before that." Tears started to well up in Orlando's eyes one again, "You had so many problems, yet you bothered listening to all of mine. I was so sure I was nothing but a burden, but when you say I'm not… I believe it."

"Orlando, calm down."

He stopped, soon relaxing in his seat, leaning forward with his elbows resting on his knees, "This whole thing is forcing me to face everything that's wrong with me, I can't believe I lied to myself like that for so long. Poor Ebi, she deserves better than me, but she still loves me." He sighed, "Even now, I remember that day like it was yesterday. I said so many harsh things to her… but she still wants to be with me. Sometimes I wonder how I got with such a lovely woman."

"But you have a chance to be with her again. I…" Vincent hesitated, remembering all that Orlando said a few moments ago. '_Why should I even consider this, I already have 3 people to choose, do I really need to add to that?_' "I think you should take it."

"You think so too?" Orlando looked at him with a hopeful smile, "I'm just afraid of hurting her again. It's not like we can just pretend we never split up."

"You'll work it out, I'm sure of it." Vincent placed his hand on Orlando's shoulder with a reassuring smile.

Orlando only nodded his head with a humored grin, "I'm expecting a good slap in the face to be honest." He laughed. "But if me and Ai can work it out, it'll be worth it."

"But what about me, just a few minutes ago you said you loved me."

"Turns out we're both in the same predicament, at least… I think we are."

"Well." Vincent pondered, "It's not like I have to be with them. I can…"

"Be with me?"

"It's… not impossible."

"You or Ebi… one hell of a choice." Orlando smiled, "It's too cruel, I don't deserve you two."

"Yeah you do." Vincent scooted closer to him so he could wrap an arm around his shoulder, "No matter what I'll always be there for you."

Orlando smiled, "I know."

Vincent's chuckled and nudged his shoulder into his, and Orlando locked eyes with him. He grimaced with a puzzled look in his eyes, as there was something odd about his. It was similar to Jonny's 'sheep' eyes, but since his eyes were darker Vincent didn't think too much about it. But Orlando's eyes, they were blue, human eyes.

"Vincent?"

"Huh? Oh, right." Vincent gave him a small smile and separated from him,_ 'What's up with his eyes, they weren't like that a few minutes ago…' _This world was just making less and less sense as Vincent continued to ponder the possibilities. He shook his head and looked back to Orlando, "I'm gonna get going, okay?"  
"I'll be right behind you."

Vincent nodded before sitting up and headed to the booth, he couldn't wait to hear what criticism confession boy had for him now that he's found the identity of two sheep, who were also his closest friends. _'And potential lovers' _Vincent shivered at the thought; he had a lot too work with today.

He slid into the booth, sliding the curtain to hide himself from the others and quickly sat down on the creaky bench with a sigh. Almost immediately he was greeted by a crazed laughter that made him jump in his seat.

"Woah! The hell man? You aiming to give me a heart attack tonight?!" He yelled at the grate that separated them, all he got was panted laughter as the voice tried to calm itself down so he could properly respond to him. Vincent rolled his eyes and sighed as he listened to his laughter that seemed to last forever. His laugh was really unsettling, it came off ever more maniacal coming from him, and whenever the laughter seemed to die down it started back up against just when Vincent was about to open his mouth. Finally when his laughter died down he was completely silent, causing Vincent to grow anxious with the rising tension.

"What's so funny?" Vincent decided to ask.

"Oh nothing. I'm just amazed with how little you thought of it."

Vincent cocked a brow, "Thought of what?"

"How little you really know about you're friends. What they keep locked up no matter how much you, pry, drink, or do anything that can loosen their lips. You don't find it the least bit insulting that they'd keep it all from you?"

Vincent was taken back, the little feeling cawing at him from the back of his mind was properly put into words. "Shouldn't you be saving the questions for the rope thing, or whatever?" Vincent asked in an irritated tone.

"Perhaps, little lamb. But you're too interesting to keep me from learning about you entirely professional. You're far beyond the pathetic cheater who got thrown in here."

"Oh goody, I feel so special." Vincent said sarcastically. "Anyway, sure my friends hide things but they don't have to tell me everything. They know I don't have the answers to everything. They probably just didn't want to bother me when I had this whole mess too deal with." Even though what he was saying as true, Vincent didn't agree with him. "In fact, what you're saying is showing how little you know of how I think."

"True, I did say you're far beyond the reasons you're going through these grand trials. I suppose there's something going on in that little head of yours. I applaud you're depth that surpasses even my expectations."

"I told you I don't need your praise." Vincent sneered.

"But you're always so rude to me." The voice whined, "And about both of them being here? What are your thoughts on that?"

Vincent grimaced, "Well, the thought that my friends potentially dying here is a bit unnerving." He glared at the grate, "But they can pull through."

"Are you sure?" The voice leered, seeming giddy "The one in the red hat seemed to be having trouble."

Vincent eyes widen, "That reminds me, what was up with their eyes? They weren't sheep eyes."

The voice seemed delighted, "Ah! What a keen eye you have. That my dear lamb is… a surprise."

Vincent shot some air out of his nose and let his back hit the wall, his upper lip rising in disgust. "I knew you'd dance around it. Probably a glitch in the matrix or some bullshit and you just don't want to admit it."  
"Oh I assure you, my little lamb, that it's no accident."

"Hey can you quit the nicknames? It's bad enough I now got four people pinning for me I don't need your demonic ass on me, now."

He heard him snarl, and his voice quickly shifting to disgust, "Don't get full of yourself, little lamb. You think a being like you would captivate me."

Vincent smirked, "Woah, don't so defensive there. I was joking."

The voice growled, "Hmm, very well. I'm surprised how well you're taking your friends confession. The annoying one being torn between you and his former lover and the boring one loving both you and your lover."

"It's not like they were acting on it. And what's with the names? They're still my friends."

"I couldn't care less about their relationship with you. They're still boring and annoying to me, I think I should just kill them off by putting them in an impossible situation." Vincent's heart was racing at the possibility of his defense making their situation go from bad to worst.

"Hey, I was just saying-"

"Watch your tongue, little lamb, I could do the same for you." His voice turned mischievous, "Maybe you can serve me in the afterlife." He giggled.

'A_s your slave or something?'_ Vincent thought. "Well thanks the motivation, now, why don't we send me on my way so I can get out of here for tonight."

"You're right!" The voice exclaimed excitedly, making Vincent instantly regret his words. "I can't wait to show you what I have in store for you~"

Vincent wanted to say something, but as soon as he heard the familiar deep voice boom in the small confessional he knew it was too late.

**This is the 12th question. What do you think of polyamory?**

When the two roped dropped from the ceiling, the answers being 'The more the merrier' or 'Not on my watch'. This was a question Vincent had been subconsciously debating for a while. Polyamory was being okay with your partner dating other people, right? It would make his situation a lot easier, but Katherine probably didn't like the idea. Then again Vincent never asked her about it. Then again that's why Vincent really never brought it up himself, he was worried that'd he'd be seen as unfaithful.

_'__How ironic'_. But the main worry with polyamory was jealousy, but Vincent was never one to get jealous in the first place. He could live with a relationship like that, and this was about what he thought, right?

Vincent pulled the rope on the left, and when he let go it jerked itself along with the corresponding rope back into the top of that booth.

"Can I really say I'm surprised without lying?"

"Yeah, haha, just get me out of here."

"If you ever do get a relationship like that, leave some room for me, alright?"

Vincent looked at the grate in with a twisted smile, "I fucking knew it!"

His response was in a sing song voice, mocking what Vincent had done earlier. "I'm joking~" And like that the booth was already up in the air.


End file.
